New Vocabulary
by WonderPickle
Summary: Now that they're parents to a baby, Toby doesn't let Happy curse. One-shot. Quintis.


"Happy. We need to talk."

She gave him a strange look from the other side of the couch. The tv kept playing in the background. "What the hell did you do?"

He pointed at her and practically jumped up. "That right there."

"What?"

"Your foul mouth, Hap."

She scowled. " _My_ foul mouth? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Now that we've officially become parents," he gestured towards the hallway that led to their daughter sleeping in her room, "you gotta cool it with your crude vocabulary."

"Are you saying I curse too much?"

"To put it lightly... _yes_."

Happy smacked his upper arm.

"Ow!" he yelped. "I'm sorry, baby. No offense. I'm just sayin'."

"For the record, I _don't_ curse too much." She crossed her arms and scowled. "But whatever. I can do it. No problem."

* * *

"Son of a bitch!"

Toby widened his eyes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Happy. I thought we agreed to nix the," he whipped his head left and right before focusing on her and whispering, " _potty words_."

She gestured around the cabin of her truck. "Do you _see_ a baby around?" she asked. "No. And besides," she pointed at the car ahead of them on the road, "that tool just cut me off. I can say whatever the hell I want."

"Whatever the _heck_ ," Toby corrected.

Happy rolled her eyes. "Like I said, she's not even here."

"But you need to practice."

"Practice what? Sounding like a Mormon?"

"Practice cutting your vocabulary. Practice makes perfect," he insisted. "The more you do it, the more you won't do it."

She scrunched her forehead. "That makes no sense."

He waved it away. "You know what I mean."

"No, actually, I _don't_."

"Just stop the sailor speak, okay? Even if Grace isn't around."

* * *

When they got to the garage, Happy stubbed her toe on her workbench. "Damn it!" she grunted.

Paige and Sly winced sympathetically.

Toby, though, gave her a disappointed frown from his desk.

She looked at his expression, sighed, and lost every lively nerve in her body, to the surprise of the others. "Darn it," she said without a lick of enthusiasm.

Cabe furrowed his brows behind his coffee mug. "What the hell happened to you, kid?"

Happy walked around her workbench and started to unpack tools from her bag. "Toby says I'm not allowed to curse."

"Why the hell not?" Paige asked. "He's never been the boss of you."

"The freaking baby. Apparently, she's the boss," Happy answered.

" _Hap_ ," Toby chastised.

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you kidding? I can't even say _freaking_?"

"Absolutely not!" Toby replied.

Cabe sipped his coffee. "Parents these days."

* * *

"These damn morons," Happy muttered to Paige. "What the hell are they thinking?"

" _Happy_ ," Toby scolded over the comms.

"Shit. I forgot you could hear me."

" _Happy_! Don't make me come down there, Quinn. I _will_ jump out of this helicopter."

"No you won't," Happy and Paige replied simultaneously.

Toby huffed. "Okay, fine. But we will have a very serious talk when I land."

Cabe scoffed in the comms. "Shut up."

Happy perked up from her and Paige's hiding spot. "They're on the move! O'Brien, get your ass-uh-your booty over here."

"That's my girl!" Toby beamed.

* * *

After three days, Happy wasn't really talking like Happy anymore.

When she and Toby walked into the garage on that third morning, Walter greeted them with, "We have a case."

"You got a funny way of sayin' good morning, one ninety seven," Toby muttered.

"Why are you so late?" Sly asked.

"Traffic was a female dog," Happy replied, devoid of emotion. "We sat between two exits on the highway for twenty fire-trucking minutes. And the whole time, Toby was being a huge pain in the buttocks."

"Oh my God," Paige said. "You broke her."

"It's only _temporary_ ," Toby defended. He lowered his voice. "Until Grace turns fifty."

Walter pointed at the tv screen. "Guys. The case."

Toby shushed him.

"Hey, Happy," Cabe tried, "if there was traffic, there must've been an accident, right?

"Yeah."

"How stupid was the guy that caused it?"

Paige lowered her chin. " _Cabe_!"

" _Guys_ ," Walter reminded.

" _Darn_ moron," Happy answered.

Cabe raised his eyebrows. "Paige is right. Doc broke her."

"Hey," Happy intervened, "cursing isn't the only part of my identity. I'm not _broken_."

"Happy, you know what sucks?" Sly continued. "Traffic like that. It really sucks."

She rolled her eyes but agreed, "Tell me about it. It always sucks."

"Happy!" Toby cried.

"Sugar honey iced tea!" she cursed. "It _stinks_."

Toby put a hand on his chest. "Much better."


End file.
